Pregnant at 41

I haven't ever blogged before, and I'm actually not sure I have time for a blog. But so many thoughts keep swirling through my head and I'd love a forum in which to share them. I have read other women's blogs -- they are all so funny, positive, and sound so excited about their pregnancies!  I must say that at 16 weeks, I'm still pretty darn petrified. My body is changing. I'm not officially showing yet, but I look fat, and my chest has grown a whole cup size. There's no doubt I'm pregnant, but I'm in the weird awkward stage of who I tell, who can tell anyway, how I respond when I notice people looking at my belly and then not saying anything to me.  My husband is more concerned about my health and that of the baby's than about planning for the future. He's not ready to start working on names, go shopping for baby furniture, thinking about redecorating the guest room or anything like that that might help ME get more excited and make this seem more real.  Everyone who has kids simply loves them, and is so excited to share information. What about me? Will I be like that?  What if I'm sad? What if I yearn for my own old life?